


No Words Can Explain

by IowaGuy1979



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, F/F, Maxs middle name is Jennifer in my fic canon, Sacrifice Chloe Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:20:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28576653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IowaGuy1979/pseuds/IowaGuy1979
Summary: In a world where heroes come and goWell, God just took away the only one I know"Jealous of angels" by Donna Taggert
Relationships: Maxine "Max" Caulfield/Chloe Price
Kudos: 1





	No Words Can Explain

As Max left the cemetery, she half expected Chloe would jump out of nowhere and yell “BOO-yah!”. That this was all a dream.

She watched Joyce break down and cry, holding onto David for support as if he were the only thing keeping her together.

Max let out a dark chuckle. The one she needed to support her was buried in the ground. The priest that had officiated knew nothing about Chloe. It was all fake, stale platitudes. “A time for all things” this, and “reunited with her in heaven” that. Chloe would be the first to call it all a bunch of shit. 

When she came to her surroundings, she was in the passenger seat of Warren’s car. She got out, and went to her dorm room. Going mechanically through the motions of showering and dressing in what Chloe had called her ‘hipster uniform’, of a grey hoodie, her pink JANE Doe shirt, and jeans.

As she sat on her bed, memories slowly filtered in. Chloe and she playing pirates in the Price backyard, in their pirate tree fort. Chloe breaking her wrist trying to skateboard for the first time, much to Joyce's consternation and William's barely held back laughter.

Soon, darkness fell. Max changed into her pajamas, and fell asleep.

She found herself at the lighthouse. The Storm raged toward the town. Chloe’s face appeared among the dark and bitter clouds. “Why didn’t you save me, Max? I trusted you!”

“I.. I’m sorry, Chloe! I tried!”

The words she had said when Max had related her trip to save William, came back. “Not good enough!”

As the lighthouse broke apart and toppled toward her, she screamed.

Max shot up in bed, breathing hard, heart hammering.

As she got her breathing under control, the familiar numbness took hold.

‘It should have been you.’, a dark version of Max’s own voice said. ‘She had to much to give to the world. She was so smart, so full of love. It. Should. Have. Been. You.”

Max shook her head, as her stomach growled. She hopped into the shower and got dressed, this time in that moth shirt and jeans.

The bus wasn’t running, so she walked to the Two Whales. Asking Joyce how she was would be beyond fucking stupid, but, she needed to see the older woman anyway.

As she entered, her feet automatically moved towards their booth. She sat down, tracing the M.C. + C.P. carved into the table top.

“hello, max.”, Joyce said. The very will had been sapped from her body. She talked like she was a dried out husk, which wasn’t far from the truth.

“H...Hey, Joyce. Just coffee, please.”

The woman nodded in an almost robot-like manner, and went off to fetch Max’s coffee.

As the bell went off and the door opened, both women turned toward the door.

“Chlo-”, they said at the same time.

The person that had just stepped through, a rather scrawny blonde man, shook his head with a confused look. He sat down at the counter.

Max saw Joyce’s hand gripping the coffee cup just about hard enough to break it, it seemed.

She moved back to Max, setting the cup down in front of her. Her eyes glanced slightly at the brunette, devoid of all light.

The dream she had had, as well as all the memories from The Week That Wasn’t, choked Max’s throat.

Before she could stop herself, “It should have been me. It should have been me!”, tore from her in a half sob.

Joyce regarded Max for a second. Then she said the words Max had expected, the words she deserved to hear.

“Yes, Max.” She said with fire in her eyes and voice. “It should have been you. Not my baby girl, she didn’t deserve that. She didn’t deserve to die in a filthy bathroom, shot by some spoiled, rich bastard.” She shouted, almost like it would be loud enough to shake the tiles and rattle the windows. “IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU, DAMN YOU TO HELL!”

Tears streaming down her face, Max flung herself from the booth. She tore through the front door of the diner. She ran. The only direction that mattered was away.

She found herself by the lighthouse, where all this shit had started. Max jammed her earbuds in her ears, and opened Spotify. Music. Music was the only thing that could stop her from hurting. It was only temporary, Max knew. The only thing that could stop her from breaking, from crumbling, was the person she had killed. But, the universe wanted her to suffer it seemed. A quiet guitar riff, followed by strings…

You’re not alone, together we stand

I’ll be by your side, you know, I’ll take your hand.

When It gets cold, and it feels like the end

There’s no place to go, you know I won’t give in

No, I won’t give in

Well, it was apparently ‘watch Max be a 13 year old fucking Emo’ time. She deserved it, all of it. She had killed her best friend, her Captain. If she had had any courage, she should have jumped in front of that psycho’s gun. If she had had any courage, the one person that mattered would still be alive.

Keep holding on

Cause you know we’ll make it through

We’ll make it through

Just stay strong

Cause you know I’m here for you, I’m here for you

There’s nothing you can say, nothing you can do

There’s no other way when it comes to the truth

Keep holding on

Cause I’m here for you, I’m here for you.

Max got up, and slammed her head into the lighthouse wall. Once. Twice. She finally stopped when she saw blood run past her eyes.

“God dammit! It should have been me!”, she screamed. “She had so much to live for, so much to give! Why wasn’t it me?”

She collapsed to the ground, watching the blood from the cuts on her head soak into the soil.

So far away, I wish you were here

Before it’s too late, this could all disappear

Max snorted, if only…

Before the doors close, and it comes to and end

With you by my side, I will fight and defend

I’ll fight and defend

She thought back to their childhood, to that week that was gone. Chloe had always been the strongest one. She’d been the one to take risks, like falling off of that skateboard. Or almost falling from their fort, one time. And she protected Max, her First Mate. She knew that Chloe would do anything to protect those she loved.

And when the time came to save Chloe, Max had failed.

Hear me say when I say, when I say I believe

Nothing’s gonna change

Nothing’s gonna change destiny

Whatever is meant to be will work out perfectly

‘I guess fucking destiny wasn’t on your side, time goddess’, the dark voice snickered.

“Shut up!”, Max howled. She tore the earbuds out and threw her phone on the ground.

She curled up on the ground, in a fetal position. The voice was right. Joyce was right.

She knew it wouldn’t bring the blue haired punk back. It was what she deserved, though. As she uncurled, and stepped towards the cliff edge, she knew she was paying for destroying the life of a woman who had been a second mother to her.

As the light sparkled off of the bay, she heard that fucking song, still.

Keep holding on

Cause you know we’ll make it through

We’ll make it through

Just stay strong

Cause I’m here for you, I’m here for you.

..wait, that wasn’t the song from her phone. She didn’t hear that voice often, Chloe always said her singing was balls.

Max spun around, and her eyes widened.

Standing by the bench, with that same devil may care smile, was Chloe. Her eyes glittered like the sun on the bay.

“Hey, First Mate. Permission to come aboard?”

Max let out a heartbroken wail, and ran towards her Captain.

And went right through her.

“Kind of dead, still, Maximum Security Facility.”

“But.. what. .how?”

“Beats the fuck outta me, Max. I guess.. whatever” she threw her arms around in the air “let me get closure, as the shrinks say.”

“It..it wasn’t fair.. It should have been me. Joyce said so, and she was right.”, Max said.

“Max o’ mine”, Chloe said. A thrill went through Max’s spine, at those words. “Joyce is still grieving. It didn’t make what she said right, but, she’s feeling just about as dead as I am.” Chloe’s face morphed into a morbid smirk.

Max let out a watery chuckle “Asshole.”

“Hey, do what you’re best at.”, the lanky ghost sketched a half bow.

“But, and I never thought I’d say this, how are you holding up, Bluebeard?”

“Weird. Disconnected, sort of? Like, most of the emotions that I had are gone.”

Max stared. “All of them?”

“Well, except for one.” The phantom walked to Max, phasing through the bench.

As Chloe reached out to her, she felt nothing.

Then, she was wrapped in the warmth, in the smell of Axe body spray and weed, in the feeling of Home, that was Chloe Elizabeth Price.

“The love I have for you, my Max.” Tears glittered in the girl’s eyes.

Max buried her face in Chloe’s shirt, crying.

After a few seconds, she looked up. “..sorry about getting snot on your shirt.”, Max mumbled.

“Well, it’s not really a shirt, per say.”, the other grinned

As their lips drew together, Max knew that this was the last time. Their last kiss.

And it felt like every happy memory they had shared. It felt like the sun on a summer Saturday morning. It felt like the very reason for existence.

Then it was gone.

As Max felt Chloe’s lips brush across her cheek, she also felt the other girl grow insubstantial. Soon, there was nothing around her, but the wind from the bay.

“I’m so sorry, Max.”

“..why, why do you have to go?”, Max whispered.

“Because, sometimes, life is just shit, my love.”

Both let out a snort.

“But, always remember this. I will always, always, ALWAYS love you, Maxine Jennifer Caulfield. The sun, the moon, the stars? The ground under us? Those are fucking nothing, temporary, compared to the love I will always have for you, First Mate.”

“I will always love you too, Chloe Elizabeth Price. Forever.”

As the ghost faded into the rapidly approaching sunset, she said, “See you around, Caulfield.”

“Safe travels and good winds, Bluebeard.”, Max smiled.

She took a deep breath, and headed down the trail from the lighthouse.

She had to have a long heart to heart with Joyce.

**Author's Note:**

> I lost my best friend of 24 years, a few days before Christmas. So, I kind of get how Max feels in the Sacrifice Chloe ending, better. 
> 
> I did the 'hello, max' in lower case, to show Joyce's mood.
> 
> Lyrics are from Avril Lavinge's Keep Holding On. It's mawkish and Emo, but, it hits me right in the feels.
> 
> Title is from Lay Me Down, by Sam Smith.
> 
> [Also inspired by this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VqoUdLKImg)


End file.
